Hello, I'm Alberto. 22 years old, Texas, I like a lot of cool stuff so stick around. I have a lot of cool friends and you can be one. I want some TimmyBucks.
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Reblogged from tagmemystrich  160,357 notes

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND

FLOOR IT?

NICK NO

HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND

NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN

I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES

NICK P L E A S E

Reblogged from the-pietriarchy  335 notes
What if you end up marrying a billionaire
Anonymous

the-pietriarchy:

"are you batman"

"for the hundredth time, no"

"you can tell me if you’re batman"

"we’ve been married for 5 years if I was batman you’d notice"

"that’s exactly what batman would say"

"I’m not ba-"

"I can’t believe I married batman"

and repeat every single day until he files for divorce